I'm glad I didn't. The last couple of weeks have brought some amazing high points. This time last year I was mourning 2 lost babies, I found out shortly after that my future in work was extremely uncertain and soon after my husband was made redundant. Our house purchase looked like it was going to fall through and I just completely lost it.
12 months later, we're in our beautiful home. We're so happy to be here. Rosie is thriving at her new school. I not only have a job but also a promotion and J has an amazing new job which comes with massive benefits. We're so much more settled.
The only fly in our ointment is that I've had 3 more losses in the last 8 months. My dream of a 2nd child is shattered. Physically and mentally I feel like I am not sure I can take much more and the hope I have had dwindled to the tiniest slither. At the end of May I attended the Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic in the city nearest our home. The consultant was sympathetic but ultimately said there was nothing she could do. She advised me to go back on Metformin and lose weight (a massive 70lbs or so) and possibly to attend a private clinic which tests for uNK cells. I was devastated. I'd waited months for this appointment and they didn't have a magic wand. 2 months on I'm still sad that they had no answers but have resolved to try and achieve the weight loss. The Metformin I am on (1000mg daily) is evil. I run to the toilet several times a day. On the plus side though, I am losing weight. 10.5lbs in 3 weeks. I just need to keep trying. This is my last chance.
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