No one remembers but me, but 2 years ago today my heart broke for the first time. Little did I know how much worse it would get. Over and over my heart broke. My dreams were shattered.
My heart is healing now but the scars remain. They may fade with time but they'all always be there. I miss my angels every day. My lost children. Sometimes it's the big things, the anniversaries and due dates, but mostly it's the little things. The time you forget for an instance and the suddenly remember with a jolt. The way your heart lurches with every pregnancy and birth announcement.
I don't know what the future holds. Whether I'll have another baby. Whether I'll feel those little kicks that are just the most amazing feeling because there is much thing else quite like it. Or whether I'll get to experience the wonderful bond of breastfeeding, the sleepy milk drunk smiles reserved for you that make the night time feeding sessions so worth it. I hope I do, just one more time because there is a gap in my heart, mind and soul that cannot be filled until I do.
Today however I'm thinking of my first lost one. My Snowdrop who never bloomed. 2 years seems a lifetime but yet also has passed so quickly. Fly high little one, Mummy loves you and always will. Xxx
