1 Year

I don't even know what to say but I feel I had to mark this weekend somehow.  It's been a year since we said goodbye to Lily.  A year since I sat in a hospital bed dosed up on morphine and co-codamol bleeding my hopes and dreams away.  

I marked the weekend by giving away all of my baby clothes.  Everything else had already gone to my sister who had a baby boy in August.  I have nothing left apart from a couple of newborn babygros  to keep as mementos of how small Rosie once was.  

I feel broken, physically and mentally.  How can this have happened?  Why has this happened?  Why me?  Will I ever get over this? 

Lily, I love and miss you more than I can say.  I wish more than anything that you were still here, a chubby 6 month old, a beautiful happy little girl.  I can picture you so clearly, blonde hair and blue eyes, so much like your big sister who would have absolutely adored you.  We all would have.  

Always and forever in my heart.